Plurk paste

this is hard to write, so bear with me...I've pretty much left my virtual life quietly during the past couple of months, without really giving reason to anyone or saying goodbye. I suppose I felt that if I gave my current crisis a name, an explanation, it would take over and drown me. But things have gotten to the point where I need to speak out, need to say 'hey, I'm falling in here and I don't feel like drowning.' The closest thing to a father I have ever known was purposefully hit by a truck about 6 weeks ago by gangbangers who were upset with him helping the cops get the drug dealers out of his neighborhood. He recovered, somewhat, but there was a lot of damage to his lungs and spine. Fast forward to a couple nights ago, I get a call from his son (one of my best friends) letting me know that his father has a mrsa infection that started in his lungs and has now spread pretty much everywhere. It's hyper-aggressive and nothing the doctors have done have helped. As some of you may know, mrsa infections can be fatal. At this point, they are making him as comfortable as they can and are saying their goodbyes. I've known this man since I was a wee babe, and he was more of a parent to me than my own mother. The thought of living without his guidance terrifies me. I haven't slept in days, I barely eat, and I can't even bring myself to fight my inner coward and visit him one last time. So I have a favor to ask...if you see me on skype, or even on plurk, stop in, say hi, check in on me. As long as I'm reminded that I'm not alone, I hope and pray that I won't have a complete meltdown. Thanks for listening.