1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
To Him Wherever He Is

I feel like there's no purpose without you.
Many times I've asked myself where you are of even if you're real.
If you're looking for me as much as I'm looking for you.
I haven't even met you and I've been mad at you so many times.
But also sad and disappointed that you're not here for me.
I lay here thinking as I type this if everyone is lucky to meet their other half.
Or if there's just a select few that do.
If I met you would we even get along?
Would you like me for me?
Maybe it's just best we don't meet.
Because I'd mess it up like I always do.
On birthdays I remember I'd wish that I'd get to run into you.
Or every time I saw a shooting star I wonder if you saw it too.
When I'm next to someone else I wish I knew whether or not it was you.
Will I ever even know when I meet you or will it always be a mystery?
It just feels like this isn't how things are supposed to be.
I want to feel wanted.
I need to be loved.
Do you even acknowledge my existence as much as I do yours?
Maybe you gave up on me and decided to settle.
Maybe you died.
Maybe you just. don't. exist.
Whatever the reason I just wanted to let you know I miss you.
I do know it's possible to miss someone that you've never met.
Otherwise I wouldn't feel this way.
The letters have become blurry and the cursor seems to be the only thing alive in this room.
The silence is unbearing and I just wanted to not be here alone.
To lay next to you right now would be such an honor.
Just to be in your presence.
Even if it isn't everlasting.
But yet I feel as though I'm asking too much and I'm selfish.
I'm so tired of getting my hopes up just to end back up at the beginning again.
Having to constantly start with new people is hard.
It's done signifigant damage to me.
I feel that when I meet you that you won't even like me because I'm such a mess.
That I'll try pushing you away and you'll feel that I'm too much to deal with.
I just ask that if I'm ever fortunate enough to meet you that you be there for me.
Please just understand that I've been through a lot and that I want to try.
I'm just scared of all the bad possibilites.
I hope to find you someday.
Always yours.
Justin.