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"I merely requested your service as a doctor-"

"Well as of now, I'm not a doctor! I'm a very, very disturbed man. Deeply disturbed." I rubbed my temples, but it did nothing to abate my growing headache

"Leonard. I cannot continue a physical relationship with Jim until I can be positive that I am not hurting him."

"Look, I know that you think you're being logical about this, but you aren't. In fact, you're being damned ridiculous! I'm glad you want to protect Jim, trust me I spend plenty of time bandaging him up so he doesn’t simply fall apart one day so I really do understand, but I refuse to 'observe your coitus,' as you so clinically put it." I was downright ranting and raving at this point. "Jim's my best friend and my captain. Do you really think I wanna see you… see him being…" I shivered and took a deep breath. "Goddammit, man! It would not be clinical! It would be awkward! I would die of awkwardness -"

"Leonard, you stated only one-point-four-two minutes ago that you are not a doctor. As such, I do not believe that you are qualified to diagnose anything as abstract as awkwardness to be deadly. I would not have considered you as being capable of the aforementioned diagnosis previous to your resignation, either." I stared at his blank expression, into the dark eyes that were just gleaming with amusement.