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"Well, I mean, it made sense at the time, right?" Raphael asks, setting down the cups of coffee on the little table. It has an excellent view - if you look down over the edge of the cloud you can see straight to Paris.

"It did. I think." God sighs, staring down into His coffee. He doesn't mean to trouble Raphael with all His doubts, but somewhere between the fall of Rome and the Dark Ages Raphael has become Heaven's unofficial shrink. He's very good at all that listening and healing business. Except for when it comes to Michael. Michael just annoys the snot out of him in a very unangelic way at this point. Eternity is a very long time to be stuck with someone. Especially someone who insists on parading around in armor with a sword when there are lasers to be had instead.

"And he's doing a very good job of it, isn't he?" Raphael prompts.

"Oh, he's doing a splendid job." God answers, scratching at His beard. "Splendid may not even cover it."

"Exactly. So think about the number of women who are happier people because James Kirk exists." Raphael says happily, taking a sip from his coffee. It needs more sugar, he thinks, and two cubes fall out of thin air an inch or so above his cup, joyfully splashing into his coffee. Much better.

"Happy, yes, but sinful." God sighs. He still hasn't touched His coffee. Raphael inches it closer to Him. "I'm not really supposed to inspire people to sin and whatnot."

"Well, I mean, Hell's a bit full at this point, especially after that whole fandango with the North Pole in 2056, so isn't it alright if we relax our standards a bit? Not that I'm suggesting it or anything." Raphael takes a quick drink.

"We already have relaxed them." God points out. "Remember when you used to be sent to Hell for being philosopher?"

"I hate Dante." Raphael mutters under his breath. He had wanted to talk to Plato so badly, but no. He'd just disappeared. And then lo and behold, a few years later, some random Italian points out that he probably went down instead of up. What a waste. "The point being, James Kirk is not a bad thing."

"I know, he's just, as mentioned, sinful."

"You're drinking coffee. I'm sure that's sinful in some places."

"Only very good coffee that costs over 4.50 a cup is sinful."

"Ah, of course. Kirk is sinful in a... wonderful way, I suppose. Wonderful is not bad."

"He is rather prefect."

"You did an excellent job on him."

"I did." God gazes wistfully upwards, where the stars are twinkling down at them. Not only had he made James Kirk His gift to women, but also to the stars! And countless alien races of unknown gender. But 'God's gift to women' sounds better than 'God's gift to aliens of unknown gender', so He'll go with that. "Alright, so we may have to relax some of the standards on sodomy."

"That's the spirit! Now drink your coffee, it's getting cold."

And just like that, the coffee was warm again.

---

"Wow." Jim flopped next to the alien princess, arms spread eagle.

"Wow?" She repeats, looking worried.

"No, that's a good thing. Wow means like awesome. Or really great."

"Ah. Why this 'wow'?"

"I just feel like God's smiling on me today."

The confused look he gets is worth it when he gets to explain what 'God's gift to women' means. And then demonstrate the concept. Again.