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First of all so sorry for not finishing this sooner, I fear the end will be an anti-climax now BUT I’ve been on a much needed break with Phil and spent my evenings out and about or watching the Paralympics rather than being sat in front of a PC, and to be honest I think that it’s done me the power of good.

Anyway, the head story. We left it where Barry just didn’t know what to do about the head; all he could do with any certainty was remove it from the kitchen and take it into the garage.
Bren was mortified; despite being a hardcore Harlan Coben/James Patterson/crime fiction fan it is a very different thing actually having a disembodied head in your kitchen, and she set about disinfecting the entire area with gusto. (We joked after the fact it was like she was concealing a murder but the joke didn’t go down very well at all, surprisingly enough!)

So Barry moved the head to the Garage and had a bit of a crisis.

What could he do with it? It was clear it was a medical item, so should he take it to the nearest hospital, or should he take it to the Police? After all things like this shouldn’t be in the public domain should they?
I recall at the time he rang Phil to discuss his options and Phil just didn’t know what to suggest. To be frank, Barry had actually got quite fond of the head and he almost didn’t want to part with it BUT common sense, and a significant amount of nagging from Bren, had to prevail.

So he did what any normal person would do; he contacted the seller and demanded a refund on the basis that he’d thought he was purchasing a plastic head and it turned out to be real.

I kid you not, he actually contacted the seller and said he wanted a refund BECAUSE it was a real head.

Even better than that? The guy agreed and even said “You know, I thought it might be but I couldn’t be sure…”

Barry sadly wrapped the head (now called Clarence) and returned him to his original home and received his refund.

And that, my friends, is the story of the head. But you know what? Barry misses Clarence to this day, and often talks about him fondly and wistfully.