Plurk paste

*你是英國哪位君主？*
從征服者威廉到伊莉莎白二世，形形色色的君王曾坐上英國王位，測測看你最像哪位君主？

1. So you've just landed a kingdom. What do you do? 你剛得到一個王國，打算做什麼？
→ Buy everything you ever imagined! 買下任何想到的東西！
→ Stamp out anyone who can threaten your rule. 除掉任何威脅你統治的人。
→ Ask around for advice. 四處徵詢建議。
→ Let's get some more kingdom! 繼續得到更多王國！
→ Get straight to work. 直接開工。
→ Too busy fighting! 忙著打仗！
→ Meh. Your old place was better. 不了，還是老家比較好。
→ NOOO I DON'T WANT IT 不！！！我不想要啊！！！

2. What's the best way to get a kingdom? 得到王國最好的方法是什麼？
→ You have to fight for it. 打仗。
→ You have to be born to it. 與生俱來的繼承權。
→ The people have to want you to have it. 人們想要你得到王國。
→ You have to be the best person for the job. 你是最好的人選。
→ You should accept out of duty. 一切都只為了責任。
→ You have to kill for it. 殺人。
→ You have to wait for it. 等候良機。
→ You should marry into it. 婚姻。
→ You should take it if it's right for the country. 如果對國家有益，就拿下王位。

3. How much do you trust your friends? 你多信任你的朋友？
→ My friends are the bee's knees! They deserve everything, and I'm gonna give it to them! 我的朋友最棒了！他們值得一切，我會給他們一切！
→ My friends are great. Sometimes I don't know what to do, so I let them make the hard decisions for me. 我的朋友很棒。我若是手足無措，就讓他們幫我做艱難的決定。
→ My friends keep me grounded and remind me I'm just a regular guy underneath. 我的朋友讓我保持平凡心，提醒我自己只是個平凡人。
→ My friends are great - until they cross me. 我的朋友很棒──直到他們惹惱我。
→ Friends are useful tools to maintain control and weed out opposition. 朋友是有用的工具，可以幫忙維持控制，掃除對手。
→ My friends are mostly "with benefits". 我多半是為了「好處」才交朋友。
→ Friends? I have allies. 朋友？我有同盟。
→ Friends suck! 朋友爛死了！
→ Friends? 朋友是什麼？

4. What's the most important part of being a monarch? 作為君王，最重要的事是什麼？
→ Conserving your own power. 保住權力。
→ Gaining territory. 擴增領土。
→ Setting a moral example for your people. 為人民樹立道德榜樣。
→ Cultivating culture and appreciating history. 培養文化、重視歷史
→ Defending your kingdom. 捍衛國土。
→ Defending your religion. 捍衛信仰。
→ Ensuring the succession. 確定後繼有人。
→ Making the monarchy a symbol of courtliness and power. 讓君王成為朝廷和權力的象徵。
→ PARTY TIMES 派對時間！！！

5. How are we on finances? 你如何處理國家財務？
→ Money should be for emergencies only. Heck, I even save on clothes and firewood. 錢是應急用的。嘖，我連衣服和柴火的錢都省。
→ When I was a kid I had next to nothing, but now I'm a monarch, so now I can buy whatever I want! Money is endless! 我小時候一貧如洗，現在坐上王位，想要什麼就買什麼！不停花錢！
→ Spend money to make the monarchy splendid, to defend the country, and to ensure loyalty, NOT on costly wars. 拿來替君主治裝，保衛國土，確保大家忠心耿耿。絕不會拿來打花錢的仗。
→ I have a lot of money, but that guy also has money. I think I deserve it more than him. I need it for my wars. 我有很多錢，但那傢伙也有錢。我想我值得比他有錢。畢竟我需要打仗。
→ Money is to be used in defence of the kingdom. 錢要用來保衛國家。
→ Money is just money. Things are just things. Surely there's something more important in this world. 錢只是錢。東西只是東西。世上應該有更重要的事物才對。
→ Money is for building monuments and commissioning artworks. A kingdom's culture is its soul. 錢得用來建造紀念碑和贊助藝術。一個王國的文化就是它的靈魂。
→ Money is for fightin' France. 錢要拿來打法國。

6. What was your childhood like? 你的童年是什麼樣子？
→ I had a lot expected of me from a very young age. 從小，人們就對我寄予厚望。
→ I was always in the shadow of my older siblings. 我一直活在兄姊的陰影下。
→ My parents fought a lot. 父母經常吵架。
→ I may have been a little spoiled. 我有點被寵壞。
→ I was kind of a slacker and a partier, but I grew out of it. 又懶又愛開派對，但我已經變了。
→ I was a slacker and a partier, and I never grew out of it! 又懶又愛開派對，我完全沒變！
→ I didn't get a lot of attention from my parents. 我沒有受到父母太多關注。
→ My parents always made sure I got lots of love and attention. 父母親總是確保我得到很多愛與關懷。
→ My parents wanted me to play sports and get out more, but I just liked to read. 父母希望我熱愛運動且更常外出，但我就是喜歡閱讀。

7. How are we at politics? 你如何處理政事？
→ My way or the highway. 不聽我的就滾。
→ Try to keep everyone happy - and in your power. 試著讓大家都開心──但還是主掌權力。
→ I sincerely believe I'm always right, so anyone who disagrees is a traitor. 確信自己永遠都是對的，不同意我的人就是叛徒。
→ I'm better at it then people think. 我比人們想像的還厲害。
→ I try to leave the politics to someone else. 我把政事交給別人煩惱。
→ That's for boring people. I like to have fun! 那太無聊了，我更喜歡找樂子！
→ I'm too busy fightin' for that stuff. 我忙著打仗。
→ I tend to end up with everyone mad at me. 我好像每次都讓大家對我很火大。
→ The sovereign needs to be above politics. 王權必須高於政事。
→ The only sure politics is a poisoned cup. 唯一穩定的政事，就是下了毒的酒杯。

8. Religion? 信仰方面呢？
→ The most important thing in my life. 信仰是我人生中最重要的事。
→ Good excuse to go lop off heads! 拿來砍人頭的好理由！
→ Piss on it if it means I can't marry who I want! 如果我不能跟想要的對象結婚，就叫信仰滾蛋吧。
→ Important, because God has chosen me above all others. 信仰很重要，畢竟上帝從眾人中選了我。
→ Important, because the people need a God-given leader. 信仰很重要，因為人們需要神選的領袖。
→ Between me, my subjects, and God. 這是我、我的子民還有上帝之間的事。
→ It's important for subjects to have the Word of God in their own lives.讓我的子民生活中有上帝之道存在，是很重要的事。
→ Whatever keeps the people happy. 人民高興就好。
→ I like a religion that likes me. 我喜歡像我自己這樣的信仰。

9. Why are we at war? 我們為什麼打仗？
→ I had a lot of stuff, but that country over there had some more stuff. 我有很多東西，但那邊那個國家有更多東西。
→ I've pissed off somebody (probably a Pope.) 我被某人惹火(大概是教宗)。
→ My people have risen against me. 我的人民起而反抗我。
→ War is a good time! 打仗是最美好的時光！
→ The nation is under attack. 國家遭外敵攻擊。
→ I mayyy have usurped the throne. 我…或許…竄了位。
→ I definitely usurped the throne. 我絕對竄了位。
→ Dunno, but it's not my fault. 不知道，不是我的錯。
→ Everyone (but EVERYONE) hates me. 所有人(對，所有人)都恨我。

10. Someone's invading your country! What do you do? 有人入侵你的國家！該怎麼辦？
→ Put all your money into fortresses. 把錢都拿來建造防禦堡壘。
→ Ask them to go away, please. 叫他們走開。
→ Wait until we're SURE it's an invasion. Then kick butt. 等待時機，確認真的是外敵入侵，接著痛扁他們一頓。
→ Set an example of firmness and bravery for your people. 給人民豎立一個不屈不撓、英勇無比的榜樣。
→ Go and challenge them personally, relying on your charisma to turn them away. 和對方單挑，靠個人魅力讓他們離開。
→ Fight the good fight for as long as possible, then save yourself. 作戰直到情勢對我方不利，這時還是救自己要緊。
→ Give them what they want; sounds like they want it more anyway. 給對方任何他們想要的東西；結果他們想要的更多。
→ Let's be real: I'll be the one doing the invading. 咱們現實點吧：我才是那個入侵別國的人。
→ WELP 無話可說囉。

11. You've conquered new land! What's your first step? 你征服了新的領地！接下來呢？
→ Break down their culture and replace it with mine to ensure my supreme power. 破壞他們的文化，用我的文化代替，以確保我的最高權力。
→ Put castles all over it to ensure it stays yours. 到處建城堡，確保新領地待在掌控之下。
→ Be subtle about it, but eventually you'll have the whole country in your pocket before they even notice. 動作不要太大，等人們注意到時，整個國家已成囊中物。
→ Set everything on FIRE 放火燒了一切。
→ Sell it back to their people for exorbitant prices.讓那個國家的人民用天價買回去。
→ Keep the pressure on so they'll know who's boss. 不停施壓，讓他們知道誰才是老大。
→ I've got enough country as it is. 我自己的國土就足夠了。
→ In fact, you can have some of these countries back. 事實上，部分征服的領地可以還給你們。

12. Who is England's worst enemy? 誰是英格蘭的頭號敵人？
→ The French! 法國人！
→ The Spanish! 西班牙人！
→ The Germans! 德國人！
→ The Scots! 蘇格蘭人！
→ The Catholics! 舊教徒！
→ The Protestants! 新教徒！
→ Parliament! 國會！
→ My stupid cousins! 我愚蠢的表親！
→ My evil cousins! 我邪惡的表親！

13. What's your hobby? 你的興趣是什麼？
→ Reading 閱讀
→ Writing 寫作
→ Drawing 繪畫
→ Praying 祈禱
→ Gardening 園藝
→ Hunting 打獵
→ Poetry 詩歌
→ Dancing 跳舞
→ Designing things 設計東西
→ Hanging out with friends 和朋友出去玩
→ Eating 吃
→ Partying 開派對
→ Stabbin' folks. 到處刺人
→ What DON'T I do? 我所有事情都做。
→ I've got this neat sex chair...我有張很棒的情趣性愛椅喔……

14. It's time to get married. Who's it going to be? 該結婚了。對象是誰呢？
→ Only someone I can love. 只能是我愛的人。
→ Someone to help me with hard decisions. 某個可以在我做艱難決定時幫忙的人。
→ We require dat booty. 屁股必須夠翹。
→ Some hottie I just found. 某個我剛找到的性感人物。
→ Nah. 算了吧。
→ Someone who believes what I do. 某個相信我所做一切的人。
→ Someone rich and powerful. 某個有錢有權的人。
→ Anyone. Just... anyone. 任何人。真的，任何人都好。
→ The one I love, even if it means giving up everything. 我愛的人，即使代價是要放棄一切。
→ So I was thinking my brother's twelve-year-old kid. Thoughts? 我在想，我兄弟的十二歲小孩感覺不錯。你覺得呢？

15. Time for your kids to get married. What to do? 你的孩子該結婚啦，怎麼安排？
→ I want them to at least like the person. 他們至少要喜歡結婚的對象。
→ Switch it around and keep the world powers guessing. 變化莫測，讓各國勢力不停猜想。
→ Marry them to someone powerful to strengthen their claim to the throne. 讓他們和有權之人結婚，鞏固即位權力。
→ Put one in every court in Europe. 藉由聯姻，把他們安排到歐洲各國朝廷。
→ I'm not really concerned about that. I've got my own stuff going on. 我實在不太關心這件事。我還有自己的事要處理。
→ They're not old enough for that. Let them be kids! 他們還不到那個年紀呢。讓他們繼續作孩子！
→ Someone to help them grow up a little. 某個可以讓他們成長的人。
→ Someone from around here. 某個來自附近的人。
→ They're not letting me have any say at all! 在婚事這方面，孩子根本不讓我決定！

16. Are you faithful to your spouse? 你對你的伴侶忠貞嗎？
→ Anything else would be disrespectful to my spouse and a bad moral example for my country. 我絕不會羞辱我的伴侶，也不會成為人民的壞榜樣。
→ I have lovers, but only because it improves my image. 我有很多情人，但只是為了提升形象。
→ I could never love anyone but my beloved spouse. 除了我深愛的伴侶外，我無法愛任何人。
→ I kinda had something going on that kept going on after I married. 婚後，我有點在搞婚外情。
→ Most of my extramarital affairs become marital affairs. 我大多數的婚外情對象最後都跟我結婚了。
→ I have had enough illegitimate kids to make a city. 我的私生子女多到可以建造一個城市。
→ I'm just not interested in the opposite gender. 我對異性沒什麼興趣。
→ I don't have time for that sort of thing. 我沒時間管這種事。
→ Wouldn't you like to know. 才不告訴你。

17. What's the most important trait to you? 你最重要的特點是？
→ Bravery 英勇
→ Resourcefulness 善於克服困難
→ Piety 虔誠
→ Loyalty 忠誠
→ Kindness 善良
→ Good moral character 遵守道德
→ Peacefulness 愛好和平
→ Respect 敬重他人
→ Intelligence 聰明才智

18. How do you want to be remembered? 你想要以何種形象留名於世？
→ As a martyr to my beliefs. 為信仰犧牲的烈士。
→ As having done my duty. 盡忠職守之人。
→ As an end to anarchy. 無政府狀態的終結者。
→ As a great warrior. 驍勇善戰的戰士。
→ As a peacemaker. 促進和平之人。
→ As a good person. 好人。
→ As a glittering icon of glamour and riches. 華麗而富有的形象。
→ As a strong leader. 強而有力的領導者。
→ As a universally beloved figure. 眾人喜愛之人。

19. Pick a quote: 選一句話：
→ "I always admired virtue - but could never imitate it." 「我敬仰美德，但從來無法自己實踐。」
→ “I am born for the happiness or misery of a great nation.” 「我為這偉大國家的悲喜而生。」
→ ”I may be uninspiring, but I’ll be damned if I’m alien.” 「我或許無趣，但絕不是外國人。」
→ "My whole life, whether it be long or short, shall be devoted to your service.” 「我的人生無論長短，都將為你們服務。」
→ “Kingdoms are but cares/State is devoid of stay/Riches are ready snares/and hasten to decay.” 「王國需要勞心看顧。領土是桎梏。財富是陷阱，損失得如此快速。」
→ "People in Parliament occupy themselves with private animosities and petty quarrels, and think little of the national interest." 「國會成員只懂得彼此仇恨和口角，幾乎不顧國家利益。」
→ "I will pull down my breeches and they shall see my arse!" 「我會脫褲子，讓他們看看我的屁股！」
→ "Damn the painters and the poets too!" 「該死的畫家和詩人！」
→ "When you are too old to play golf, you had better die." 「當你老得不能打高爾夫球時，不如死了算了。」

20. Pick a saying: 選一句俗語：
→ "Waste not, want not." 「勤儉節約，吃穿不缺。」
→ "The clothes make the man." 「人要衣裝，佛要金裝。」
→ "Finders keepers, losers weepers." 「東西誰撿到了就是誰的。」
→ "To the victor goes the spoils." 「戰利品屬於勝利者。」
→ "Better late than never." 「亡羊補牢猶未晚。」
→ "Easy come, easy go." 「來得快，去得也快。」
→ "Don't bite the hand that feeds you." 「別忘恩負義。」
→ "Too many cooks spoil the broth." 「人多誤事。」
→ "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em." 「打不過，就合作。」