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...also, had some thoughts regarding the side effects of sedative use especially long-term (hi depression) and the idea of the book not having originally been written with the intention of publishing, but more Vanya just... getting together all of her thoughts and feelings and trying to purge and vent, and shit making it hard for her to remember the better times, or good things, so they just... don't go in there?

Someone finds out and pushes her to publish - maybe she's like, broke af (probably) and hse gets railroaded between that and publishers, isn't as diligent as she can be, doesn't get a chance to do intended changes/is told no because what people want of bios of people who lived with famous people is dirt so they can feel like better people...

She tried/wanted during the process to contact them but like, physically couldn't bring herself to pick up the phone, or like she did and say, Diego's number was defunct because he'd dropped out of the academy and wherever he was staying and didn't let anyone know he was mopping floors, and it's just like 'oh.' and taken as a sign?