1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
I have 5 rules when it’s dark out:
1.Never look out the windows
2.Never directly stare at mirrors
3.Never look too closely at shadows
4.Never look behind only straight ahead
5.Never do any of the above when the lights are out


I don’t know why or when these rules had become integrated into my nightly routine. But every time the sun sets, I automatically look away from the windows and the mirrors are something I only see in the corner of my eye. I never really paid attention to whether or not I looked behind me, but when I’m conscious of my movements, I always never looked back.

I was never tempted to break any of the rules. I didn’t know why I was pandering to these petty fears. They’d only ever make room for more fear to take hold.

My twin found out about these rules one day. He held it over my head and bullied me into facing them. I refused. My twin attempted to physically restrain me, to hold me down and make me look. I managed to get away, running to my room and barricading the door, trying not to shake when he started shouting through the door. I hid under my bed, my safe haven where I hid from my twin’s bruising grip. I pulled down my sheets hanging off the side of my bed, enclosing me. I tried not to cry. Tucked safe in here, with my twin’s shouts filling my ears, I am always reminded of rule number 6 scratched into the wood under my bed.

6, I don’t have a twin.