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Hoyle's Rules of Dragon Poker



The most complicated game on this, or any other, world





Introduction: The History of Dragon Poker



The cover of this volume boldly states that Dragon Poker is, “The most complicated game on this, or any other, world.” This claim may seem exaggerated, sensational, nonsense, but we believe we can back up this statement.



To fully understand Dragon Poker, one must understand it's long, bizarre and often murky history.



According to legend, Dragon Poker was brought to this world fully formed by a demon several hundred years ago. Most commonly the demon is said to have been a Deveel, an Imp or possibly a Pervert, although the occasional Trollop or Klahd also get blamed by some scholars.



As appealing as this story is- and indeed, many players profess belief in the legend- there is no evidence to verify it's veracity. In fact, no reference to the game has ever been found dating prior to 1985. More likely the story was developed as a metaphor regarding the game's complexity.



In addition, although the mind naturally repels at the thought of more than one mind mad enough to try and create such a game, it is apparent that the rules are the effort of no less than four individuals and most likely more.



Little Myth Marker is the oldest known text to make mention of the game. In it the storyteller Asprin describes a number of games revolving around a group of conmen.



However, Asprin's account is incomplete. While he helpfully provides near-complete list of of hands, the cards used and enough of a description to make it possible to determine matters of dealing, there are notable absences.



The Corps-a-Corps hand, though referenced, is never formally described because the conditional modifiers are such that it doesn't come into the story. As to the conditional modifiers, although Asprin indicates that there are well-over two dozen, only a fraction of that number appear in the story. Some of them are even incomplete, listing only the condition without the modification or vice-versus.



Finally, it makes reference to the betting term “Bump.” Despite long years of research, no one has ever been able to answer definitively just what the word means. Readers learned in Poker will no doubt recall that Bump means the same as raise. However, the players in Asprin's story are shown to add to the pot, leading most experts to believe there is a different, lost, meaning to the term.



Some have argued that it is an alternate word for “Call”, although Call also appears in the text just prior to Bump. Others claim that it means “Check” on the grounds that Check is never referenced. However, in the context of the story, this theory makes no sense unless betting is different than other forms of Poker, which does not seem to be the case.



Taken together, one has to wonder if Asprin fully understood the game at all or if he was just using a game he had heard of.



The game passes out of mainstream knowledge at this time for about twenty years, with one brief blip on the radar in 2001 where a university lists a Dragon Poker club in their directory of extracurricular activities. However, while they claim to have one of the four remaining copies of the rules, they make certain mistakes that are impossible to ignore, the most glaring of which is the continued reference to Gryphons, a card wholly unknown to Dragon Poker. Some have suggested that this is an alternate name for Ogres, as many of the female persuasion have objected to their gender's sole representation in the deck to be such a foul beast. However, this is nothing more than mere speculation.



By 2006, the game was more fully codified. For the first time ever, prospective players could learn the rules of the game without having to cobble it together from Asprin's book. This would otherwise be unremarkable save for one important addition: The Corps-a-Corps hand.



It is unknown to this day where the description of the Corps-a-Corps hand was found. More sober scholars believe it was found by pouring over Asprin's other works which occasionally reference the game further in passing1 , but the prevailing theory is that a demon was summoned for the sole purpose of asking. Then, of course, there are the cynical people who think they just made it up. Whatever the origin, the list of hands was now complete.



Sadly, however, the conditional modifiers were still lost. In fact, the document didn't even list all the ones that Asprin had. It began to seem as though the game could never again be played the way game intended.



However, fortune struck us all and the full list was found.



In an excavation of Pompeii, archeologists stumbled upon a chamber containing the skeletons of a Deveel, an Imp, a Pervert, a Trollop and Klahd gathered over a deck of cards around a table.



Shame on you for not believing the legend.



Besides them on the table was a set of scrolls describing the game and it included the modifiers.



What follows is the translation of those scrolls and a culmination of all prior research. For the first time in nearly a millennium, you will be able to play the game just as those demons did and you will be able to play fully.



With the history unraveled, it is now time to explain...





The Rules of Dragon Poker



I. The Players



As few as two and as many as five may play with a standard deck. If St. Georges are used, a sixth player may be added to the table.





II. The Deck



Evidence suggests that proper Dragon Poker decks may have existed at one time, but none have ever been discovered. However, a standard 52 deck may be used if the player makes note of certain differences in terminology.



Aces equal Dragons and should be referred to as such.2 Likewise, Kings are Unicorns, Queens are Ogres and Jacks or Knaves are Elves.



10s to 2s are the same as in regular decks.



Jokers are, appropriately, called St. Georges and, as in regular decks, are typically wild3 . However, unlike regular decks, there are four St. Georges to deck, so players wishing to use St. Georges should mine two extra Jokers from a second standard deck.



The Dragon Poker deck has four suit which are just the same as in a standard deck. Aside from hands that depend on the cards being all the same suit, their main use is to determine the winner between two or more otherwise equal hands. For this, the suits are valued in descending order as follows: Spades, Hearts, Clubs and Diamonds.





III. The Deal



Each player will be dealt nine cards across five sets. Unless a conditional modifier (see Section VI) says otherwise, each player will be dealt one card at a time and each should get one card before any player gets a second, and so on and so forth.



During the first set, each player will get four cards. The first three will be face down, while the last will be face up.



During the second, third and fourth sets, each player will get one card face up.



During the final set, each player will be dealt two cards, the first face up and the final face down.



Betting may occur before, between and after these sets. For further information, see Section V.



Unless the group decides otherwise or a conditional modifier is in play, each player will take a turn at dealing. During this time, it is common for players to invoke the rule of “Dealer's Choice.” In terms of Dragon Poker, it means that the dealer has limited authority over the game, such as choosing wild or high cards if there is no other rule designates one.



Special Rules Regarding Dealing



The rule book recognizes that some players have angered the Random Number God. Rather than discourage those players, they will be allowed as many mulligans as they want. However, there are conditions. Their first mulligan is free, but after that they lose an additional hole card for every mulligan request. Once all of their cards are face up, more mulligans may be purchased for one unit of bet.





IV. The Hands



Unlike most other forms of Poker, hands in Dragon Poker utilize six cards instead of five, leaving players with three at least three extra cards. Is ascending order, the following are the legal hands of Dragon Poker:



High Card- Where no better hand is present, the player with the card with the highest value wins.



One Pair- Two cards of the same numeric value.



Two Pairs- Two sets of pairs. Note that a player holding four Dragons does not have Two Pairs, they have Four of a Kind.



Three of a Kind- Similar to One Pair, this hand contains three cards of the same numeric value.



Three Pair- Three sets of pairs.



Full House- This hand occurs when a player holds both Three of a Kind and One Pair.



Straight- A sequence of six cards, all in order. For example, a Dragon, a Unicorn, an Ogre, an Elf, a 10 and a 9 is a straight.



Four of a Kind- When the player holds all the cards of the same numeric value.



Corps-a-Corps- The so-called “lost hand”4 , a Corps-a-Corps hand is Three Pairs that are also two three-card flushes. For example, a Dragon, a Unicorn & an Ogre of Spades and a Dragon, a Unicorn & an Ogre of Hearts is a Corps-a-Corps hands.



Flush- A hand containing cards of all the same suit.



Full Belly- Two Three-of-a-Kinds



Full Dragon- This hand occurs when a player holds both a Four of a Kind and One Pair.



Straight Flush- A straight that is also a flush.



Some further explanation on hands and ranks.



Typically, one hand is beaten by a hand of the same type with higher cards. For example, a Pair of 9s beats a Pair of 2s.



When two hands are otherwise equal in value, suits are used to determine the winning hand. Unless a conditional modifier is in play, a flush of Spades, for example, will beat a flush of Hearts.



Finally, hands are played as called. That is, a hand is whatever the player says it is. If, for example, they say Two Pair, it will be rank as such even if they have four 10s.



Under most circumstances, other players an under no obligation to the tell their opponents that they've undersold their hand, although they may if they wish.



The player with the highest valued hand wins.





V. The Bet



1. On When and How to Bet



As was stated earlier, betting occurs around the dealing sets.



The bet that occurs prior to any cards being dealt is called the ante. This is usually a low bet designed to get things started.



The first player in line to ante need not be the first to ante. Instead, they may elect to check, which is, in essence, a bet of nil value. However, once a player has anted the rest of the players must meet the ante. This may be done in one of three ways:



First, the player may fold. This means he or she feels that their cards are not worth betting on. A player who folds must immediately discard their cards. They will sit out the rest of the round.



Second, they may call. A player who calls puts an equal a bet into the pot (the accumulated bets from all players).



Finally, a player may raise. Raising means adding a bet equal to the ante to the and adding more. If a players raises, the process continues until the bets are all equal or all other players have folded. Equal, in most cases, means the same amount. However, if a player goes all-in to meet a bet, it is to be considered equal, even if it falls short.



It should be noted that pre-dealing anteing is only a requirement for professional games and need not happen in friendly or casual games.



Betting occurs after every set of dealing (unless, of course, a conditional modifier that says otherwise is in play), including the final one. Though it is never called anteing, the process is the same. The only difference is that the bets are typically larger, even the initial one.



2. On What to Bet



In short any and everything.



While money is the most common bet, for many reasons (lack of funds, moral reasons, legal issues, etc.) some people find this unappealing. Chips may also be used, but aside from casinos where they serve as a temporary stand in for actual money, they hold little attraction for the casual player.



Beyond that, any item may placed into the pot. The guide recognizes very few rules regarding what may be gambled. However, it is up to the better to convince his or her opponents that the item they are betting should be allowed in the pot and is as valuable as claimed.



Also, while usually not required, it is considered proper etiquette to not allow players to lose too much in friendly games.



3. Special Rules and Guidelines Regarding Gambling



Dependents- If the group agrees, players may bet their dependents, but only if they can fend for themselves. A time limit must be imposed at the start of the session at the discretion of the players, but it should be less than the amount time it would take for it to become a matter for the authorities.



Drunkenness- While the following has never been an official rule, it is considered customary to make the most drunk player be the first to ante and bet.



Names- If a player bets their name, cheating is allowed for all players.



Anti-gambling Rules- If players elect to play in an area that forbids gambling, the players should have a plan in place to hide their actions. Commonly, a Bible is brought so they can pretend to be holding a Bible study, however any tactic may be imployed.



Side Bets- Side bets are permitted at the gaming table at all times, but if there's no winner, the bet will be added to the pot.



Pop Culture References- Any player who makes a pop culture reference may be made to donate the smallest betting unit to the pot if none of the other players laugh.





VI. The Modifiers



At long last, we come to the oft-referenced conditional modifiers. Conditional modifiers are what separates Dragon Poker from regular Stud Poker. Conditional modifiers are why Dragon Poker is the purview of the brilliant, the skilled and the mad.



The concept of conditional modifiers is deceptively simple. It is a modification based on the condition. That is, the rules of the game change depending on outside forces. These can be practically anything from the phases of the moon, to details about the room the game is played in, to how many hands have been played, etc.



What makes the conditional modifiers so daunting is three-fold.



First, the modifiers for the most part stack and there is no limit to number of modifiers that may in play. For example, several modifiers change the order of the cards. If the order is reversed because it's the fifth hand (Conditional Modifier #5) and player tears their sock, dictating the card order inverts from the center (Conditional Modifier #162), the reversed order will be the one that is inverted.



Second, several of the modifiers are vague and very little in the rules details how to clarify them, only that the players must determine them, as they must do for the modifiers that come in conflict5 . As one or two of rules makes absolutely no sense, most scholars agree that this was deliberate on the part of the game inventors to make it even more confusing.



Third, there are are well over two hundred conditional modifiers. What follows is the full list of known conditional modifiers, compiled with the oldest at the top of the list and the younger following. We recommend that anyone who still wishes to play familiarize themselves with all modifiers before they begin, because players are under no obligation to inform their opponents of modifications that benefit them.





Any omission of the conditional modifiers must be determined at the beginning of the night. Players may determine this in any way they choose.



Unicorns are wild on Tuesdays



In months with the letter “M”. Ogres are at half value.



Red Dragons are wild on even-numbered hands.



Once a night, a player can change the suit of one their “up” cards.



Every five hands, the sequence of the cards is reversed, so the low cards are high and vice-versus.



Once a Four of a Kind is played, that card value is dead and blank for the rest of the sessison.



If a Four of a Kind is played with all wild cards, it ceases to be wild and can be played normally.



If there is a 10 showing in the first two face-up cards in any hand, then 7s will be dead.



If another 10 appears, rule 31 will be canceled out.



If the first card turned up in a round is an Ogre, the round will be played with an extra hole card (four up and five down).



On Tuesdays, the dealing reverses every seven hands.



When all players are of the same gender, the Corps-a-Corps hand is invalid.



Once a night, a south facing player may withdraw their bet at no penalty.



When played with spectators, 3s will be dead and considered blank.



If there are an odd number of players, hands totaling an even number beat hands totaling an odd number of the same rank. The reverse is also true.



In every hand after the forty-second, the player facing north can discard one of another player's face card at anytime.



If the sun is out, Hearts become Spades and Diamonds become Clubs for Elves only.



If there is at least one female at the table, Ogres and Unicorns may switch names.



In played indoors, the declaration of a new wild cards renders the previous wild card tame.



If the moon is full, no silver or silver-colored money, chips, etc. may be bet.



If a player is caught lying, they must play their next hand with all cards face up.



If any sort of alarm bell rings, the players must switch positions (after the emergency has been managed) and play their new hands until the end of the round. Afterward, they may return to their original seats.



If a romance novel tops the New York Times Best Seller list, a hand must contain at least one Ogre and one Unicorn.



If the game is played on a drinking holiday, the players must participate. Every round will be followed by the players chugging a glass of their drink of choice. This will continue only so long as all players may safely do so. Betting may continue as normal, but exorbitant losses will be considered void in the morning.



If a St. George is played, Dragons are blank for the rest of the hand.



On Valentine's Day, couple may show each other their hands.



If a player plays the Dead Man's Hand, they may not play for the rest of the night.



If a player leaves the table, their opponents are allowed- nay, encouraged- to peek at their hole cards.



If there is a sports match occurring during on the day of the game and the group consists of supporters of both teams, the players must divided into two teams (they need not consist of equal numbers) where they will pool cards and money, chips, etc. for the session. If there is a discrepancy between the winning sports team of the above and the winning Poker team, the winnings are void. If both winning teams are the same, the winnings are doubled.



If the players are in constant and consistent motion for the duration of a hand, the values of the face cards are reversed.



If a session is held on the day of the end of the world or imminent death for the group, chips will be worth $5,000, $10,000 and $25,000. (Local currencies apply)



If the world doesn't end or the group doesn't die within 24 hours, chips will be worth 10¢, 25¢ and 50¢. (Local currencies apply)



On weekends, which may extend to Friday nights upon agreement of the players, Unicorns are wild.



The overall loser of the hand has the option to change a rule for the next hand.



If, when playing, a Weird Al song broadcasts on the radio, the value of the hands reverses.



If a cat walks by and sneezes, the betting must cease for the remainder of the hand.



During a blizzard, suits reverse value.



In months without an “R”, on dates with two numbers, the card values corresponding to the date switch places (e.g. On August 26, 2 become 6s and vice versa).



A power outage shall be considered a free-for-all to grab cards from the other players. Good luck.



In the event of an election and a politician wins, cards will be dealt from the bottom of the deck.



If a player wears a purple dress shirt, betting will only occur after all cards have been dealt.



If male players outnumber female players, Ogres and Elves switch places. If female players out number male players, Ogres and Unicorns switch places.



If any of the players' countries are at war, Elves are high.



If a game is played on a player's birthday, the card with the value corresponding to the date becomes high. If there is no corresponding value, the player chooses the high card.



If there is a mirror in the room, Dragons are low cards.



St. Georges are dead and blank on the Sabbath.



If a hand is in play at the changing of the hour, all hole cards must be gathered up, shuffled and redistributed.



In months with two moons there are only two suits, determined by color.



On the fourth of July, the face cards and St. Georges are dead and blank.



If a commercial plays with an animal mascot, any player with that animal as a pet must immediately fold and sit out the rest of the hand.



If a play has a relative they call “Auntie”, instead of ante-ing they must cry uncle.



If the local radio station allows requests during the session the loser of a hand must call in “The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers to continue playing.



If a table or space has to be cleared for play, then the initial ante does not need to be met.



If any sort of cooling system is in use, Red Dragons are demoted to Unicorns.



If a player finds themself in debt, they may only use Clubs until such time as they are out of debt.



If extra chairs are required, Full House becomes the highest valued hand.



If four lights are on in the game room, 3s are wild.



If a player's significant other calls to ask when they're coming home, all dealing and betting must cease and the hands shall be played as is.



If a player smokes, they may only make hands with black cards.



The overall loser of a game or session will be rechristened by their betters and keep their name until the next new moon.



On the Chinese New Year, all Dragons are dead and blank.



A player who wins with six Unicorns must relate the loss of their virginity. Their compatriots are forbidden from questioning the veracity of the story nor details relating to it during or afterward.



If a player takes two aspirin, a round of drinks will be served, a toast will be called and Dragons are wild.



If a player coughs, 7s and Unicorns trade places.



If a snack run becomes necessary mid-session, the Full Belly and Full Dragon hands will be invalid until the next session (after the current one) that ends with leftovers.



If a lightning strike is visible, table cards are gathered up and replaced.



If players are using folding chairs, the players may not fold for the number of betting rounds equal to the number of players divided by the number of folding chairs (rounded to the nearest whole). If that number is greater than the number of betting rounds, no player may fold until the final round.



If a player who was barred from folding wins, they may trade spots with another player.



When a person sits down at the head of the table, they may dictate the initial order of dealers, dealing and betting.



If an adult shorter than five foot plays, all cards under 5 will be considered dead and blank.



If there is a ceiling fan in the game room, the value of all cards shift one to the left.



If the game is played in a room with hardwood, diamonds and hearts switch value.



If the deck is found to be missing cards, St. Georges are the high cards.



If the walls in the game room are declared to be pink, the value of odd number cards are reversed.



If the glasses are made of plastic, the second round of betting is canceled.



If there are more book cases than players, 5s are the low card.



If a player spills a drink the hands will be gathered and redistributed at random.



If a canvasser knocks at the door, half the pot will be removed and equally redistributed.



If two players share a name, they must trade hands after the second round of betting every other hand.



If a Four of a Kind of Unicorn is played on Christmas, that player wins and Diamonds become high.



If anything breaks during a hand, the dealing and betting order reverses.



If birds can be heard, the 3s and 8s trade spots.



If the weather, changes in any way, the new high card will be chosen from the top of the deck.



If the heat is commented on more than twice, the most valuable hand will been invalidated. This will continue with each additional comment until no more hands are valid.



If the window has blinds, the first bet must also be blind as a show of solidarity.



In a haunted house, Ogres become the lowest ranking face card.



If one player is a godmother, she may not use Elves in her hand.



If the deck contains cards from another deck, that card is the low card.



If a player provides high-quality snacks, they will be allowed an extra hole card. If a player provides low-quality snacks, they will be dealt an extra up card.



If all players a drinking warming beverages, Dragons gain value equal to the number of drinks.



In Spring and Fall, Hearts are the high suit.



If the facilities are under construction, the game will begin with only thirteen cards. Thirteen more cards will be add the next hand and so on until the deck is complete.



If played in view of a swamp, black Dragons are wild.



If played on a border, betting will only occur on odd-numbered dealing rounds.



It the weather is unseasonable the cards will be set out according to current value (e.g. 2, 3, 4, 5, etc.), even numbered cards will be put at the back of the order line and odds at the front. Once completed, players will have the new order (e.g. 0, 10, 8, 6, 4, 2, 3, 5, 7, 9, E, U, D).



A player wearing a jacket at the table bets after players without jackets.



If there are boxes in the room, four consecutive numbers be used in hands.



98. If a romantic couple plays with other, single players, they may not use pairs.



99. If two players arrive wearing the same clothes, the next hand will be played just between them. They will have to share the same cards up cards, but their hole cards will be there own.



100. If anything comes through the window, everyone folds and the pot is held over until the next hand.



101. If a player sits down at the table wearing a hat, the money, chips, etc. will be pooled into it. The hat will be passed around and the players will pick one unit out at a time until it's all distributed.



102. If the game room has weapons on display, St. George's replace Elves.



103. Once a Four of a Kind with Dragons is played, the Full Dragon Hand is invalid.



104. If the day number (by year) is divisible by a card value that card is high. If the day number is divisible by more than one card value, the card is low if the number of divisible card values is even and high if it's odd.



105. If there is a poster of a musician on the wall, three cards are sufficient to make a straight.



106. If the wind blows to the east, then one set of even number of cards will be gathered, shuffled and flipped over one at a time. The order in which they are revealed, is the order they are valued.



107. If an infomercial is playing on the TV at the time of the dealing begins, betting will occur after every card is dealt.



108. In months where the first day of the month is a Wednesday and the last day is a Tuesday, every other player may only use Spades and Hearts. The rest can only use Clubs and Diamonds.



109. Every 19th round (cross session), up to six left over cards will be used as table cards for everyone.



110. When only family members are playing, no hand is valid that doesn't utilize at least two face cards.



111. On the equinox, the number of hole and up cards must also be equal. In the Spring, one extra face card will added and in the Fall, one will be excluded.



112. When playing in sight of white pines, there is only one suit.



113. If you are within seven miles of a body of water, then 4s are promoted to St. Georges.



114. In months where there is a blood moon, the values of even numbered card is doubled and the values of odd numbered cards are halved.



115. If any player saw a foreign flag on the day of the game, there will be no wild cards.



116. If all sides of the table are occupied, players may discard their hole card in an attempt to build a better hand. However, this may only be done once all other cards have been dealt.



117. If the leaves have begun to fall from the trees, the high suit becomes the low suit.



118. If an error is made in dealing, hands will be valued based on the sum of the card values. However, the hands must still be valid Dragon Poker hands.



119. If the dealer owns a car made by the Big Three, hands must repeat no suits or they will be invalid.



120. If there is a rainbow in the sky, flushes and straight flushes are invalid.



121. When a game is played on the last or first day of the season, the order of hands must be rearranged for the session. How this is done is left to the discretion of the players, but it must be completely random.



122. If any of the players have facial hair, all hands dependent on the number of cards must be divisible by the number value of the card (e.g. a pair must be divisible by two).



123. If the players are eating Chinese take out, 3s are wild and Three of a Kind is the highest hand.



124. If the majority of players have seen the movie the group is watching, 6s will be considered dead and blank.



125. If two separate rules make a card dead and blank, that card is a zombie card. If it appears in a players up cards, it must be removed from the deck. If it's in a player's hold cards, their hand is dead (However, the player can still win by bluffing)



126. If a cover of a classic rock song plays on a commercial 5s, 6s, 7s and 8s are dead and will be considered blank.



127. If a child under the age of seven is in or enters the perimeter, a player may ask one of the other players if they have any of a specific cards and the other players must surrender the card.



128. For the entire duration of February, in lieu of money, player will bring clothes to bet. Gambling will continue until such time as at least one player is capable of surviving the winter.



129. If there is road work in underway in the immediate vicinity, 10% of the pot must remain behind when the pot of a hand is won. Any money left over at the end of the session will be held until the next session.



130. When there's a fog or mist, first two rounds of betting must be blind and there shall be seven hole cards.



131. For three weeks after Labor Day, no card will be made blank.



132. When DVDs out-number books in the facilities, the rules are locked down.



133. If the dealer arches the cards in both directions equally, the value of all cards is doubled.



134. If the facilities are messy, the dealing and betting will proceed in an alternating order.



135. If the home the session is being held in is part of a home owner's association, Four of a Kind is the winning hand.



136. If the game is played above the third floor, 2s are wilder.



137. If anyone playing is wearing brown shoes, 10s are promoted to face cards.



138. If a card slides off the table, the dealing and betting order reverses immediately.



139. If played outdoors, all face cards are Elves.



140. If the wind changes direction, the player with most betting units must trade hands with the player with the least betting units and fold.



141. If the game is played with a non-Dragon Poker deck, raising prior to the second round of betting is forbidden.



142. A player who goes above and beyond the call of duty to hide the game from disapproving authority figures can change the rules the next hand.



143. If one player stakes another player, the staked player plays with one less card.



144. If a card flips facing up in the deck, it must remain so. If the aforementioned card is dealt as an “up' card, it can be played as normal. If it's dealt as a hole card, it must be flipped over with the rest at the end and the back is the card's value.



145. On Leap Day, all conditional modifiers are invalid.



146. If a song repeats on the radio, the players must, on the next hand, bet the exact same way they did on the hand they played the last time the song played.



157. If cloud cover prevents the stars from being seen at night, Diamonds are dead and blank.



158. In a month where the 6th is a Friday, players must donate as many betting units to the pot as their cards as their have suit symbols.



159. When an airplane can be heard overhead, 4s become 7s for the purpose of Three-of-a- Kinds.



160. In the Year of the Dragon, St. Georges are defeated by Dragons.



161. If there's good news on the front page of the local paper, half the pot will be given to the winner and the rest will be divided between any player who had a flush.



162. If a nationally covered trial is under way, every player is required to tell other players if they undervalued their hand.



163. If alliteration appears in the game room, 2s & 3s equal 2.5, 4s & 5s equal 4.5 and 6s and 7s equal 6.5.



164. At Sunrise, the value order of the cards is Hearts and Diamonds. All other cards are blank. At Sunset, the value order of the cards is Spades and Clubs. All other cards are blank.



165. If a player arrives late, the sequence of cards will reverse every seven hands instead of every five.



166. If a player claims or is determined to be supernatural creature by other players, they are banned from using face cards.



167. If all players are wearing costumes, each can change the identity of one of their cards once during the session.



168. If the facilities are made of brick, one player during a session may be forced to fold once and one may be barred from folding once.



169. If there is turntable in the room, the players' betting units will rotate at an interval of hands equal to the the number of players until each has their original holdings.



170. If any player is wearing clothes with a tear in them, the order of cards inverts from the center (e.g. 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 8, D, U, E, 10, 9).



171. A player wearing glasses is forbidden from using 4s or hands that utilize Four-of-a-Kinds.



172. A player with more than 12.5% Irish ancestry can win with clubs over an otherwise equal hand. Other players may rightfully demand proof.



173. If two or more players go for the same seat at the start of the session, Spades are demoted to Diamonds.



174. If the dealer has an odd number of teeth, the order in which hole and face cards are dealt is reversed.



175. If the game table is round, the game must be played on the floor.



176. If the game session is held in facilities that have pillars anywhere on the premises, 9s become 4s.



177. If two or more players make physical contact, they must play the next hand against each other without any other players.



178. If more than ten buttons are present, the value of the cards is based on the number of suit symbols on the card (e.g. Ogres become 2s, 8s become 10s, etc.).



179. If the players spot a UFO, all face cards are equal.



180. A player with two different colored eyes may call a straight a straight flush if every suit is represented.



181. A player with facial hair may not use St. Georges.



182. If the lawn outside needs mowing, Spades are high. If Spades are already the most valued suit, each Spade is worth double.



183. If the game is held below sea level, only Diamonds are in play every eight hands.



184. If there is fresh fruit in the facilities, the deck must be cut by every player.



185. If a phone rings, Hearts are dead and blank for the remainder of the hand.



186. If a player gets cut and stops the bleeding within 60 seconds, they may only use black cards. If a player gets cut and fails to stop the bleeding within 60 seconds, they may not use hearts.



187. If the session starts during the day and continues into the night, the rules reset.



188. A floral table cloth means the players must play Australian rules Dragon Poker.



189. If any player is wearing pins, the value of Full House, Full Belly and Full Dragon hands reverse order.



190. Military personnel can use St. Georges as high cards.



191. If the table has ring stains, 6s, 8s, 9s, 10s, Ogres and Dragons are dead and blank every time dealing duties return to the original dealer.



192. During the Witching Hour, every player plays with all hole cards.



193. Every time the light flickers, the dealing and betting order reverses.



194. If there is an aquarium in the game room, Three Pair is the winning hand.



195. During the high tide, every player must raise during betting.



196. If a bug walks across the table, every player takes their middle card(s) and gives them to the player three spaces down.



197. If the building has old-fashioned locks, 5s are wild.



198. If the pot exceeds $500,000, the player have the option to eliminate half the rules.



199. After a rainstorm, Straights and Straight Flushes are invalid.



200. Fraying carpet means dealing and betting alternates every other player (starting with the dealer), until everyone is done.



201 If two players share a birthday and there is a difference in age, they must each draw 6 cards at the beginning in the session. Whoever has the best hand may veto one action of the other player once during the session.



202. On the last day if the month, only three players may play at a time.



203. Every twelve hands, the order of the suits is the order they appear in the up cards.



204. If there's a maple tree in the front yard, no one may raise if the first up card is a Spade.



205. If a player's age is equal to or less than the highest value card by number, they may not bet cash.



206. If the first up card of every player is upside down, no one may raise.



207. If the window panes form a cross, the deck shall not be shuffled on the first day of odd number week (by year). Instead, the cards will be gathered up and dealt to players in a different order every time until all possible options are exhausted.



208. If any player wears a short shirt in winter, the low card and the high card switch places.



209. In the event of flooding, the value of the cards of the two lowest suits will increase by one every hand until either the flooding stops or the players are forced to moved to higher ground.



210. If there is a genuine filibuster in the senate, the session may not end until the filibuster ends.



211. If two different styles of chairs are used, the odd numbered cards will trade places with the immediate lower even card.



212. If the road outside is not paved, the sequence of the cards shifts three places to the right.



213. If there is glitter on the floor, Diamonds are high.



214. If there is a red sky at night, shuffling will be done by taking the top and bottom cards from the deck and placed at the bottom of the new deck (This does not need to be exact).



215. If a player drinks from the wrong glass for the beverage, he or she deals every third hand.



216. If a procession goes by, betting ceases until the road is clear.



217. If a player uses ice in their drink, the session must end before it all melts or the winnings are void.



218. If the ceiling is slanted is, 6s or 7s are wild, depending on whether Dragons are high or low.



219. The presence of pinstripes means Spades & Diamonds and Hearts & Clubs are the same suits.



220. During Midterms or Finals Week, the game should be held in a place of study out of respect.



221. During harvest time, players will take half their bets back from the pot before the winner takes the rest.



222. A player who wins seven hands in a row must play the next hand blind.



223. When the Dragon sings, players must switch seats by moving to the right every hand until the get back to their original seats.



224. On days when Good Friday falls on Friday the 13th, the card with value equal to number of players shall be dead and played as blank.



225. If the game is played on the eclipse every other player must play only red cards. The rest must use only black cards.



226. On the day of the Buick Open, Clubs are dead and blank.



227. On days with horse races, 3 Ogres or Elves equal a Unicorn.



228. If the Detroit Lions play in the Superbowl, all face cards are wild. If the Detroit Lions win the Superbowl, all non-face cards are wild.



229. On alternate Thursdays, Clubs are the high suit.



230. If a card from another game is successfully snuck in after the session has begun and one round played, the card is valid and must be used in the manner intended by the original game.



231. If there is a rainbow in the sky, Flushes and Straight Flushes are invalid.



232. On St. George's Day, St. Georges can only form pairs with Unicorns.



233. If anyone makes a pun, St. Georges cease to be wild.



234. If there is a wobbly chair leg, the low card is dead and blank.



235. If played on a even-numbered parallel line, once during the session one player may make the value of their card numbers equal to that of another.



236. If played in the Southern Hemisphere, the opposite and reverse of every conditional modifier instruction should be followed.



237. If the backs of the cards are not blue, the dealer plays with two extra hole cards.



238. If the wood paneling is painted, card values with angles reverse order.



239. If there is a surge protector in the room, the pot must be divisible by the number of players times two.



240. If a player has an upturned or hooked nose, they deal third, but bet second.



241. If a baby cries, the cards must be return to the deck immediately and all winnings must return to their original holders. The session begins again.



∞. If a player devises a new conditional modifier, they should bring it before their group. If met with approval, it shall be added to the list and stand as official for all time.





As was stated above, this is the entirety of the known conditional modifiers. However, our researcher are ever-hard at work looking for lost modifiers. As they find them, we will share them.





VII. Special Circumstances



New Players- If a new player is added to the table who is determined to be a pretty cool dude/chick who would let you crash on their couch, the more knowledgeable player must teach them fairly and treat them leniency while they learn the game.



If a new player is added to the table who is determined to be a total asshole/bitch who deserves to lose their money, the more knowledgeable players may elect to deliberately confuse, cheat and bear false witness about conditional modifiers to the new player, provided that any and all winnings are donated to charity (We recommend Gamblers' Anonymous). Failure to do so automatically qualifies players for retribution via this rule.



Pinch Hitters- Any player may attempt to talk a pinch hitter to play for them, provided the newbie has never played before. If every player successfully convince people to play for them, a round of drinks will be bought for them from the winnings and their pictures will be placed on the wall of heroes.



Anti-drinking Advocates- Should anyone not in the group complain about drinking, at the end of the night, all players will leave any empty bottle in front of the complainers door.



Lying- If a player's significant other asking if said player is there or where they are, a small bribe from the player must be donated to every member of the group in exchange for their silence.



Blogs- A record of the session must be made for posterity if any player has a blog.



Insults and Disagreements- If a player feels their honor, intelligence, strength, sexual prowess, etc. has been slighted, they may challenge the offending party to a gentlemen's/ladies' duel. The duel can be whatever (the challenged's choice), but the winner can declare that either the odds, evens, or two suits in the loser's hand be blank for the rest of the hand.



Conditional Modifiers- If, in one session, the players successfully bring every conditional modifier into play, they all win. It should go without saying that their pictures will be placed on the Wall of Heroes.





Conclusion



If you have read this guide in its entirety, then you know as much about the game play of Dragon Poker as any living being. We can no longer help you. We wish you the best of luck and hope you spend several hours enjoying this new game.





Acknowledgments



Though it seems rather arrogant list the creator of the game as just as an “acknowledgment”, credit does need to go Robert Asprin for inventing the game. Without him none of this would be possible.



Next, I would like to thank the other people who wrote about the game. They made it a lot easier to write this manual. I think I read every article written on the game, but I drew from ftp://ftp.spsl.nsc.ru/pub/text/asprin.r/dp.html, which seems to be the originator of all other webpages.



I also referenced the Osric University's Dragon Poker Club. Though it may seem like I was mocking them, I loved their page and wished we had gotten the opportunity to play together.



I liked to thank Hoyle's Rules of Games, which I'm sure I borrowed from someone and never returned. I used it an inspiration for the organization and style of this guide.



Finally, I would like to give some more personal thanks:



Janet Parker, the first person I ever conned into playing Dragon Poker with me and who, years later, helped me with some of the modifiers.



Leah Hughey, although she probably doesn't remember it, who made me invent some modifiers on the spot when I explained the game to her.



David Crouse, who agreed to help me beta test the game.





Legal



Dragon Poker was the original idea of the late Robert Asprin. In all likelihood, though I don't know for sure, the rights have passed to his co-writer, Jody Lynn Nye. In any case, the game does not belong to me (except for the modifiers 0 through 2 and 18 through ∞. This is strictly a fan effort; no copyright infringement is intended.



This is an open source game, available for use by everybody. No money will ever be accepted for these rules. You are free to reproduce this guidebook in its entirety as you wish, but I ask you acknowledge me as the source.



If you would like to add a conditional modifier, feel free to contact me at the email address below. If I use it, I will of course give you credit. I would also love to hear about any games you've played.



If you have any questions, comments or concerns, please contact me at: [email protected]

These references typically include incomplete conditional modifiers. In the whole of his work, he provides a complete modifier but once.

Like Aces, Dragons may be low or high.

When they are not wild, they are dead and will be played as if blank.

The oldest known document that refers to Dragon Poker only referenced the hand and for years, no one knew the details of the hand. However, after years of research, scholars rediscovered the hand.

To help on this end, many players look at other modifiers for precedent.