Plurk paste

Caboose. looks. *horrified.* Enough so that Church actually wonders if something is *actually* wrong instead of Caboose-wrong. Church is in fact almost alert, sitting up on his bunk, itching to grab something when Caboose finally says, "SANTA DIDN'T GET YOU ANYTHING, CHURCH!"

Church sigh-growls and flops back onto his bunk. He could be mean - he's really really thinking about being mean - and let the bombshell drop of 'santa isn't real, dumbass', but Caboose would probably have some elaborate workaround for that involving making sure most people think that way so nobody goes to raid his toy shop on the pole. So instead, rubbing at his eyes, he explains in only a moderately impatient tone, "No, Caboose, I didn't get anything from Santa. Because he knows I don't celebrate Christmas."

"But-! But-!" Caboose still seems very concerned. "But Christmas is when all the pretty trees lay their present eggs from Santa!" Well, should have expected that one. Must be mixing Easter in there, too. "All the good boys and girls get presents! How can you not celebrate presents???"

"Caboose that's not - that's not how it works for someone like me, okay?"

"Have you been a bad boy?"

"That's beside the point."

"Because I didn't see any coal, but I *did* see some headlight fluid-"

"Caboose. It's not my thing. I'm Jewish. Mmmmostlykinda." Okay, so he hadn't really been a practicing one for...a while now. But that's also not the point. "Christmas is for people who celebrate something that people like me don't. I get my own holidays."

Caboose seems to pout and attempt to process this information for a while. "Santa doesn't judge," he says in a calm and even manner, "unless you've been bad and have kicked puppies and shoot at my best friend unless it was an accident because it was an accident and Tucker did it." He shifts a little awkwardly, but offers a hand. "Well, even if Santa didn't leave you anything because he respects your life choices, you can still unwrap the present *I* got for you!"