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Grandma Rynerson's Thanksgiving Stuffing

1 lg sweet/yellow onion
~4 celery stalks (equivalent to onion)
1c butter
18oz bread cubes (sage & onion is best)
2 cans condensed Cream of mushroom
1 lg (or 2 sm) cans mushrooms
1/2c almonds (slivered or sliced)
poultry seasoning (rosemary, marjoram, thyme, sage, black pepper, nutmeg)
1-2c Chicken stock
Diced Apples

1) peel and dice a shitton of apple. okay this is the variable step. How much apple do you want? What kind? How big do you want to dice? it's all kinda up to you. I always go with apples with firmer flesh (fuji or gala over red delicious or braeburn) but it's also gonna depend on your area's availability. a good starting measurement is to have ~as much apple as you do celery or onion. (probably 2c+) if you like your dressing wetter, use softer apples and they'll break down more. I usually toss in one granny smith to add just a little tartness. (if you can afford it, it's amazing with honeycrisp) a light sprinkle of lemon juice will keep them from browning while you dice the rest.

2) dice onion and celery, saute in that whole ass cup of butter until onions are just starting to go translucent. You're only doing half the cooking here so don't worry if the celery is still firm.

3) The easy part. put it in a bowl. yes, all of it. well all but the broth. Throw it all into the biggest bowl you own (stock pots are great if you don't have any truly massive bowls) mix it all up! Don't bother with a spoon. You *will* break your spoon. just shove your hands in it, it's fine.

4) add broth until all the bread is lightly saturated. The goal here is fluffy soft cubes not... paste (I've seen people make paste and call it stuffing and it's horrifying) generally this will take at least a cup of broth but this is one of those things that really depends on your ratios. More apple needs less broth. Don't like mushrooms? nix the mushrooms and use cream of celery and more broth to make up for the lack of mushroom liquids.

5)stuff it in a bird (or a foil pack, whatever) and shove it in the oven alongside your whatever else for 30-45 minutes. Temp really isn't a worry here, you're essentially steam cooking everything into a delicious sticky bundle. Oven space is premium so set your temp for your bird or casseroles or whatever. The stuffing will adapt.

At this size! you should have ~one 9x13 pan + enough to stuff your bird or another 8x8.