1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 | / 我用什麼才能留住你? ◎波赫士 王永年譯 What can I hold you with? I offer you lean streets, desperate sunsets, the moon of the jagged suburbs. I offer you the bitterness of a man who has looked long and long at the lonely moon. I offer you my ancestors, my dead men, the ghosts that living men have honoured in marble: my father's father killed in the frontier of Buenos Aires, two bullets through his lungs, bearded and dead, wrapped by his soldiers in the hide of a cow; my mother's grandfather-just twenty-four, heading a charge of three hundred men in Peru, now ghosts on vanished horses. I offer you whatever insight my books may hold, whatever manliness or humour my life. I offer you the loyalty of a man who has never been loyal. I offer you that kernel of myself that I have saved somehow-the central heart that deals not in words, traffics not with dreams and is untouched by time, by joy, by adversities. I offer you the memory of a yellow rose seen at sunset, years before you were born. I offer you explanations of yourself, theories about yourself, authentic and surprising news of yourself. I can give you my loneliness, my darkness, the hunger of my heart; I am trying to bribe you with uncertainty, with danger, with defeat. - 我用什麼才能留住你? 我給你瘦落的街道、絕望的落日、荒郊的月亮。 我給你一個久久地望著孤月的人的悲哀。 我給你我已死去的祖輩,後人們用大理石祭奠的先魂:我父親的父親,陣亡于布宜諾斯艾利斯的邊境,兩顆子彈射穿了他的胸膛,死的時候蓄著鬍子,屍體被士兵們用牛皮裹起;我母親的祖父──那年才二十四歲──在秘魯率領三百人衝鋒,如今都成了消失的馬背上的亡魂。 我給你我的書中所能蘊含的一切悟力,以及我生活中所能有的男子氣概和幽默。 我給你一個從未有過信仰的人的忠誠。 我給你我設法保全的我自己的核心——不營字造句,不和夢交易,不被時間、歡樂和逆境觸動的核心。 我給你早在你出生前多年的一個傍晚看到的一朵黃玫瑰的記憶。 我給你關於你生命的詮釋,關於你自己的理論,你的真實而驚人的存在。 我給你我的寂寞、我的黑暗、我心的饑渴;我試圖用困惑、危險、失敗來打動你。 / |
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