Plurk paste

Good Omens Dramatisation Ep.4


[略]


Man: Good morning, are you—?
早安，請問－
Aziraphale: The bookshop is closed!
今天不開門！
Man: Sorry.　
抱歉。
Tracy: Madam Tracy draws aside the veil?
你好這裡是「Tracy夫人掀開神秘紗幕」。
Aziraphale: I beg your pardon?
抱歉你說什麼？
Tracy: Madam Tracy draws aside the veil. Are you calling to explore the mysteries?
「Tracy夫人掀開神秘紗幕」。你打來是想探索奧秘嗎？
Aziraphale: I’m calling to speak to the Witchfinder army.
我是想找獵巫軍。
Tracy: Oh, you want Sergeant Shadwell, he’s my neighbor. We share the hall phone.
喔你是說Shadwell中士啊。他是我的鄰居，我們共用走廊電話。
Aziraphale: Yes, is he there?
是的，請問他在嗎？
Tracy: Oh, no, love. He went out to see a man about a job. Mr. Pulsifer is out, too, he went down to Tadfield this morning.
喔不親愛的，他出門去找人討論工作了。Pulsifer先生也出門了，他今天早上出發去Tadfield。
Aziraphale: Tadfield.
去Tadfield。
Tracy: Yeah.
對。
Aziraphale: Goodbye.
再見。
Tracy: But what—
但你－
Aziraphale: The game’s afoot. Time to roll up the rug and talk to headquarters. Chalk circle intact. Candle lit. Deep breath. Say the words. All things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small, all things wise and wonderful.
遊戲開始了。是時候捲起地毯跟總部報告了。粉筆圈沒問題，蠟燭也點好了。深呼吸，說密語。一切光明美麗之物，一切龐大微小生物，一切明智美好之物。
Metatron: Well?
什麼事？
Aziraphale: It’s me, Aziraphale.
是我，Aziraphale。
Metatron: We know.
我們知道。
Aziraphale: Who is this?
請問是哪位？
Metatron: We are the Metatron, the voice of God.
我們是梅塔特隆，神之聲。
Aziraphale: Perfect!
太完美了！
Metatron: Indubitably.
這是當然。
Aziraphale: Yes, look, I’ve got great news! I’ve located the Antichrist! I’ve confirmed his location and everything!
好，是這樣的，我有個大好消息！我找到敵基督了！我已經掌握了他的所在地和其他資訊！
Metatron: Well?
所以呢？
Aziraphale: So you can stop it all happening in the nick of time! You can stop it all, and there, there needn’t be the war!　
所以你們就可以在最後關頭結束這一切！你們可以阻止所有事，然後、然後就不必開戰了！
Metatron: Why not? We will win, Aziraphale.
為何不開戰？我們會贏的，Aziraphale。
Aziraphale: But—
但－
Metatron: The point is not to avoid the war, it is to win it. The forces of darkness must be beaten. We have waited a long time.
重點不在避戰，而在戰勝。黑暗勢力必須被擊敗，我們已久候多時。
Aziraphale: Oh. I see.
喔，我懂了。
Shadwell: Are ye in there?
你在裡面嗎？
Aziraphale: We’re closed!
我們打烊了！
Metatron: This is not to say you have not performed well. Well done.
我們並不是說你做得不好，辛苦了。
Aziraphale: I’d forgotten about Ineffability, obviously.
看來我是忘記考慮到『不可言喻』了。
Metatron: We thought you had. You will of course be joining us, won’t you?
我們也是這麼想。你當然會加入我們吧？
Aziraphale: Well, um…of course it has been simply ages since I’ve held a flaming sword.
呃，這個嘛…我的確是有好一段時間沒握著火焰劍了。
Metatron: Yes, we recall that you lost it. This gives you the opportunity to locate it, doesn’t it?
是的，我們記得你把它弄丟了。這也給了你一個機會去把它找回來，不是嗎？
Shadwell: Hello? Are ye in there?
哈囉？你在裡面嗎？
Aziraphale: Go away!
走開！
Metatron: Say again?
你說什麼？
Aziraphale: Um. What sort of event will start this war?
呃，大戰會以什麼方式開始呢？
Metatron: We thought a multination nuclear exchange would initiate things nicely.
我們在想多國核武交火應該會是一個不錯的起頭。
Aziraphale: Oh. Yes, yes, very imaginative.
喔，對，好。非常有創意。
Metatron: Good. We shall await you.
很好，我們會等你。
Crowley: Hi.
嗨。
Aziraphale: Crowley, listen I haven’t got much time!
Crowley聽好我沒有時間了！
Crowley: This is Anthony Crowley, speak after the tone, ciao.
我是Anthony Crowley，請在提示音後留言，掰。
Aziraphale: It’s all in that book! Stop making noises! It’s in Tadfield! That is what I was sensing! You must go there and—oh bugger!
Mobile! He has a mobile!
一切都寫在那本書裡！不要再發出噪音了！就在Tadfield！就是我之前感應到的！你必須到那裡去並－喔混帳！
手機！他還有手機！
Shadwell: I know you’re in there! I can hear ye! I can see a candle through your letterbox! A chalk circle! I smell incense!
我知道你就在那！我聽到你的聲音了！我可以從郵箱口看到蠟燭，還有粉筆圈！我聞到了薰香！
Crowley: —really mean it. Hello?
－是認真的。喂？
Aziraphale: Crowley! It’s me.
Crowley！是我。
Crowley: Ngk.
啊。
Aziraphale: Are you alone?
你一個人嗎？
Crowley: Nah. Got an old friend here.
不，有個老朋友在這。
Aziraphale: Call back later!
晚點再打給你！
Shadwell: Away with ye, spawn o hell!
給我滾回去，地獄之子！
Aziraphale: Oh no!
喔不！
Shadwell: I ken what people do with circles and candles and incense!
我知道人們會拿這些粉筆圈蠟燭薰香做什麼事！
Aziraphale: Damn!
該死！
Shadwell: I’ve seen The Devil Rides Out fifteen times! I can see what you are aboot, witch!
我看過15遍＜魔鬼出擊＞！我知道你在打什麼主意，巫師！
Aziraphale: Things are not what they seem, Mr. Shadwell!
事實不是你看到的那樣，Shadwell先生！
Shadwell: I’ll bet, you southern pansy!
喔當然啦，你這個南部娘娘腔！
Aziraphale: No! I mean—
不！我是說－
Shadwell: Too late, demon! I have all I need! Bell!
太晚了，魔鬼！我有一切所需之物！鈴！
Aziraphale: Oh, please!
喔拜託！
Shadwell: Book!
書！
Aziraphale: Careful, that is the only copy of Agnes N—
小心！那是唯一一本Agnes－
Shadwell: And—
還有－
Aziraphale: You’ve knocked over the candle!
你把蠟燭踢倒了！
Shadwell: Zippo!
打火機！
Aziraphale: No!
不！
Shadwell: By the powers invested in me by my virtue of office of Witchfinder—
憑藉獵巫軍之職賦予吾之力量－
Aziraphale: No! Em!
不！呃！
Shadwell: I charge ye to quit from this place!
命汝速離此地！
Aziraphale: No, can we put the fire out, please!
不，我們可以先把火滅了嗎，拜託！
Shadwell: And return henceforth to the place from which ye came!
並回歸來處！
Aziraphale: Don’t come any closer!
別再靠過來了！
Shadwell: Cause ye never to come again to vex us!
汝將不可再臨作亂！
Aziraphale: It really isn’t wise for a human to set foot in this circle without—
你這樣做真的很不理智如果人類擅自踏進這個圈圈而沒有－
Shadwell: And deliver us from evil!
使吾等脫離邪惡！
Aziraphale: It’s rude to point! Don’t—
用手指人很沒禮貌！別－
Shadwell: Returning no more!
再不復返！
Aziraphale: Will you…! Damn! Keep out of the circle, you stupid man! Oh, shit.
你能不能…！可惡！離粉筆圈遠點，你這蠢貨！喔靠。
Shadwell: ….hello? I did it. With this finger, I banished a witch. I have the power. I am a scourge of evil. Fires of hell, now’s the time for all good men to run! Help! Fire!
…哈囉？我辦到了，我用這根手指把那巫師給驅除了。我得到了力量，我成為邪惡的剋星了。地獄之火啊，好人現在得趕緊撤退了！救命！失火了！



Tracy: Madam Tracy—
Tracy夫人－
Crowley: I need to speak to the Witchfinder Army.
我要找獵巫軍。
Tracy: Ah, you want Sergeant Shadwell.
啊，你是說Shadwell中士。
Crowley: Mm-hm. Is he there?
嗯哼，他在嗎？
Tracy: Both Mr. Shadwell and Mr. Pulsifer are out. Now, if you don’t mind, it’s one of me mornings so I can’t leave me gentleman like that for long or he’ll catch his death. And at two I’ve got Mrs. Ormerod and Mr. Scroggie and young Julia coming over…
Shadwell先生和Pulsifer先生都出門了。不好意思，我正在做我上午的工作，不能把客人放著不管太久，他會感冒的。兩點時還有Ormerod女士、Scroggie先生跟小Julia要過來－
Crowley: Ah. Right—
啊。好－
Tracy: …for a sitting.
－參加降靈會－
Crowley: Thank you.
知道了。
Tracy: And there’s the place to clean and all before and
－我得在那之前先打掃一下做點什麼－
Crowley: Okay, tell him Mr. Crowley rang.
好吧，麻煩告訴他Crowley先生打來過。
Tracy: I’ll give Mr. Shadwell your message.
我會轉告Shadwell先生的。
Crowley: Thank you.
What to do. What to do.
謝了。
現在該做什麼，該做什麼。
Radio: The news with Corrie Corfield. Reports are coming in of an unidentified sea creature moving deep in the Pacific Mariana Trench.
Corrie Corfield新聞時間。據報在太平洋馬里亞納海溝中，發現了不明海底生物的移動跡象。
Crowley: Oh, great, the Kraken. Fantastic.
喔太好了，海怪來了，真是太讚了。
Crowley: Right, Swiss cheese plant, this is your last chance. I spray your leaves, you stop drooping and start growing, or it’s hello waste disposal unit. You heard that, didn’t you? A healthy plant is a terrified plant.
好了，電信蘭，這是你最後一次機會。我幫你澆水，你給我停止枯萎然後開始生長，不然就等著進垃圾處理機吧。你聽到沒？嚇壞的植物才是健康的植物。
Radio: Crowley.
Crowley。
Crowley: Yes?
是？
Radio: What the hell is going on Crowley? What exactly have you been doing?
到底是怎麼回事Crowley？你都幹了什麼好事？
Crowley: How do you mean?
你的意思是？
Radio: We have watched the boy called Warlock. The dog is not with him. He is not our master’s son.
我們已經觀察過那個叫Warlock的男孩了，狗沒跟他在一起，他不是我們主人的兒子。
Crowley: Ah.
啊。
Radio: We trust you have a perfectly reasonable explanation for all this.
我們相信你對這一切應該都有個完美合理的解釋吧。
Crowley: Oh, yes. Yes, perfectly reasonable.
喔是的，當然。完美又合理。
Radio: Because you are going to have your chance to explain it all to us. We will listen with great interest to everything you have to say.
因為你會有機會好好向我們解釋清楚的。我們對你將提出的所有說明都非常有興趣。
Crowley: Yes.
是。
Radio: And your confession, and the circumstances that will accompany it, will provide a source of entertainment for all the damned of hell, Crowley. No matter what agonies the lowest of the damned are suffering, Crowley, you will have it worse—
而你的自白，以及你到時所處的狀況，將會成為地獄所有魔物的娛樂來源，Crowley。不管地獄裡最低賤的存在受到怎樣的折磨，Crowley，你只會嘗到比他們更慘－
Crowley: I’m turning the radio off, goodbye!
我要把廣播關掉了，拜拜！
Same voice, muffled: Do not even think about trying to escape us, Crowley. There is no escape. Stay where you are. You will be…collected.
別妄想能逃離我們，Crowley。你逃不掉的。待在原地。我們會去…把你收回。
Crowley: When?
何時？
Crowley: Damn. Top floor flat?
該死。這裡是公寓頂層。
Hastur: Crowley. Open the front door, please.
Crowley，麻煩把大門打開。
Crowley: Ah. Hastur.
啊。Hastur。
Ligur: And Ligur. Infernal authorities sent us.
還有Ligur。地獄高層派我們來的。
Crowley: Um. I’m just in the shower. Five minutes, please.
呃，我正在沖澡，麻煩再給我五分鐘。
Hastur: No, we—
不，我們－
Crowley: Desperate times, desperate measures. Bucket. Wall safe. Left four, left zero, left zero, left four.
非常時期要用非常手段。水桶、嵌入式保險箱。左四、左零、左零、左四。
Mechanized voice: Warning, you have accessed emergency weapons.
「警告：你已接近緊急武器。」
Crowley: Yeah, thank you. Apron. Gloves. Tongs, tongs! Thermos. Quick, quick, unscrew lid. Carefully. Don’t spill, don’t spill— Good, good, good, good, calm down. OK. Door, just ajar, nice, heavy, uh, yes. Good, good. Right. Sit at desk, look in command. Oh, plant spray, good good good. Ready.
好，多謝了。圍裙、手套、鉗子、鉗子！保溫瓶，快快，轉開蓋子。小心點，別濺出來、別濺出來－好好好好，冷靜。好，把門稍微打開一點，很好。好重，呃，好了。好、很好。可以了。坐到桌前，擺出控制一切的樣子。噢噴霧器，好好好。準備好了。
Hastur: Crowley!
Crowley！
Crowley: In here, people.
我在這，兩位。
Ligur: We want a word with you.
我們想跟你談談。
Crowley: Come on in, then.
那就進來吧。
Ligur: I will.
我會的。
Crowley: Mind the bucket on the door. Oh. Might as well come in, Hastur. Watch your step.
小心門上的水桶－噢，你就進來吧，Hastur，注意腳下。
Hastur: Holy water. You complete bastard. There are depths not even demons would stoop to.
聖水。你這混帳王八蛋。連惡魔都沒你這麼墮落。
Crowley: Hi!
嗨！
Hastur: He had never done nothing to you.
他根本沒對你做過什麼。
Crowley: Yet.
只是還沒。
Hastur: Your fate will be whispered by mothers in dark places to frighten their young.
你的下場將會成為母親們在暗處嚇唬小孩時拿來說的故事。
Crowley: Go away.
給我滾。
Hastur: Wossat?
那啥？
Crowley: This is a pound-shop plant mister. Cheapest and most efficient plant mister in the world. It can squirt a fine spray of water into the air. Do I even need to tell you what’s in it? It can turn even a duke of hell into a mess on the carpet. Now, go away.
這是個一鎊店植物噴霧器，世上最便宜也最好用的那種。它能往空中射出完美的水柱，還需要我告訴你裡面裝的是什麼嗎？就連地獄的公爵，它都能把他變成地毯上的一團髒東西。現在，給我滾。
Hastur: You’re bluffing.
你在唬爛。
Crowley: Maybe I am. And maybe I’m not.
也許是，也許不是。
Hastur: Your landline’s ringing.
你的電話響了。
Crowley: The answering machine’ll get that. Do you feel lucky?
答錄機會接。你覺得自己運氣夠好嗎？
Hastur: Yes, I do, Crowley, because that nozzle just dripped onto your hand, and you aren’t screaming. Holy water that ain’t. Time to go, Crowley.
當然好啦，Crowley，因為那噴頭剛滴了水到你手上，但你沒在慘叫。還敢說是聖水咧。該走了，Crowley。
Crowley: Wait! There’s something you ought to know.
等等！有件事你得知道。
Hastur: And that is?
什麼事？
Crowley: Don’t move. It’s very important I tell you, and I really mean it. Hello?
別動。真的是非常重要的事，我是認真的。喂？
Aziraphale: Crowley! It’s me!
Crowley！是我！
Crowley: Ngk.
啊。
Aziraphale: Are you alone?
你一個人嗎？
Crowley: Nah. Got an old friend here.
不。有個老朋友在這。
Aziraphale: Call back later!
晚點再打給你！
Shadwell: Away with ye, s－
給我滾回去－
Crowley: Okay, Hastur, you have passed the test. You’re ready to start playing with the big boys.
好，Hastur，你已通過測試。你可以開始跟大男生們一起玩啦。
Hastur: Have you gone mad?
你瘋了嗎？
Crowley: The lords of Hell had to know that you were trustworthy before we gave you command of the legions of the damned in the war ahead.
地獄的大人物們得先確定你值得信賴，才能放心在接下來的大戰裡把地獄軍團交給你指揮。
Hastur: Crowley, you are lying, or you are insane.
Crowley，你不是在說謊就是精神失常了。
Crowley: I’m calling the Dark Council; they’ll want to see us.
我現在就打給黑暗議會，他們會想見見我們的。
Hastur: Now?
現在？
Crowley: Now. Race you there?
就現在。比賽看誰先到？
Hastur: What, down a mobile phone?
你要從手機過去？
Crowley: Come on, don’t tell me you’ve only surfed the electrons in a landline? Live a little! Be a devil!
拜託，別跟我說你只有玩過桌上型電話的電子衝浪喔？活在當下，勇敢衝啦！
Hastur: This is a trick.
這是陷阱。
Crowley: So long, sucker.
再見了，蠢貨。
Hastur: Damn you!
該死的傢伙！
Crowley: Hurry up, Hastur!
快來啊，Hastur！
Hastur: You bastard!
你這混帳！
Crowley: I’m a good five centimeters ahead of you!
我領先你5公分啦！
Hastur: I’ll get you!
我會抓到你！
Crowley: You’ll have to do better than that!
那你可得再加油一點囉！
Hastur: You won’t get away.
你逃不了的。
Crowley: That’s the third ring. Here goes nothing. Hastur! I’m waiting for you!
剛剛那是第三響，只能試試看了。Hastur！我在等你喔！
Hastur: Fool, you’re mine! Huh?
白癡，逮到你了！啥？
Crowley: You fell for it!
上鉤啦！
Hastur: You can’t escape! You have to come out somewhere! I’ll just follow!
你逃不掉的！你總得在某個地方出去，我只要跟著你就好！
Crowley: That’s what I’m hoping. Fourth ring. Am I too late?
我就是希望你這麼做。第四響，太遲了嗎？
Voicemail: Hi, this is Anthony Crowley.
嗨，我是Anthony Crowley。
Crowley: Made it.
成功了！
Voicemail: Speak after the tone. Ciao.
請在提示音後留言，掰。
Hastur: Right! Wha— You bloody snake!
What is this?
好啦！什－你這該死的蛇！
這是怎麼回事？
Crowley: Iron bars do not a prison make, but magnetic tape works nicely. One telephone answering machine with resident duke of Hell. Thank goodness for old technology. Now, any holy water left? Excellent. Goodbye, Hastur.
Now, to Aziraphale’s.
鐵杆不成獄，但磁帶可困魔。一台關著地獄公爵的答錄機，感謝舊科技！還有多餘的聖水嗎？太好了。永別啦，Hastur。
下一步，去找Aziraphale。



Crowley: Oh no! What happened?
喔不！發生什麼事了？
Fireman: Are you the owner of this establishment?
你是這棟建築的所有權人嗎？
Crowley: Do I look like I’d run a bookshop?
我看起來像會開書店的人嗎？
Fireman: I wouldn’t know about that, sir. Appearances can be deceptive.
I am a fireman. However, upon meeting me socially, people unaware of my occupation often suppose that I am a chartered accountant or company director. Imagine me out of uniform, sir, and what kind of man would you see before you? Honestly?
這我可不確定喔先生，外表是會騙人的。
我是個消防員，但在私生活上，不知道我的職業的人常以為我是個特許會計師或公司老闆。你想像看看，如果脫掉這一身制服，你覺得眼前這男人看起來像是怎麼樣的人呢？說實話？
Crowley: Naked. Oh, for goodness’ sake. Aziraphale! Aziraphale! Oh, for god—for sa—for somebody’s sake! This was my friend’s shop.
全裸。喔怎麼會這樣。Aziraphale！Aziraphale！看在上－撒－任何人的份上！這可是我朋友的書店！
Fireman: I’m sorry for your loss, sir.
我很遺憾，先生。
Crowley: You found him?
你找到他了？
Fireman: No, sir, place was tinder-dry and full of old books, went up like a rocket. The only thing left at all was this. Bit burned, but readable.
不，先生。這店既乾燥又放滿古書，燒得跟火箭一樣旺。唯一保存下來的東西是這本書，有點焦了，但還能讀。
Crowley: Give me that. The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch, with a page of notes in Aziraphale’s handwriting… Thanks.
拿來。＜阿格妮思納特良準預言集＞，還有一張Aziraphale的手寫筆記…謝了。

Ep.4 End