Plurk paste

I know most of y'all don't know me. Not the real me. I am insanely intelligent, ridiculously passionate, and ironically cynical person. Coming to camp was a hard decision for Alex and I--we literally made a list of pros and cons to help us decide. As much as we love the kids, it's hard for us to pour our hearts and souls into creating events just to have no one show up. I wasn't sure I could go through that again. On top of that, we just lost our little one of 1.5 years without a word.

So this camp, Alex and I made a promise to ourselves and each other--we were going to go with zero expectations. We were going to do events we loved to do and activities that made us happy, and if others showed up, then hoorah! If not, we would at least have a blast creating them. I cannot say we completely succeeded in not feeling bad, but we did do what we loved to do.

This camp, Alex and I became the king and queen of our own island of misfit toys. We tried to reach out to every little one who might feel like we do and give them the love and attention we would like. We were the little boys on the beach throwing starfish back into the ocean--it might not have made waves in the wide ocean of camp, but for that one little boy or girl, it made all the difference in the world.

This is my third camp, but my first friendship night. There were times when I hurt, when I was mad, and when I ached to have a little one run up to me, arms wide open, screaming "mommy." I cannot say that I feel like family, but I can say that I know that there are several little ones out there who are shining brighter because I picked them up and polished them off. I too, am brighter from the polishing. Thank you to all my little misfit toys and to my wonderful partner, Alex, who loves me in all my passion and cynicism.